Starting over and moving on...
Oki, most of us have been there, in that place where you've just broken up with someone and you're confronted with a new day without a person you build most of your life around. Yes yes... but what if you still loved that person in such a passionate way that you feel that every time you think of him you cannot breathe. What to do? Well it's decided and you just have to minimize the anxiety.
Day 1 of no contact
Woke up in a daze with no idea what was wrong. When my brain registered my new situation I just turned it of and put on my iPod and started my morning routine. Boring but it has to be done doesn't it? Ate a sausage and headed of to the gym, yes a sausage... Worked my as of to music that should have no bearing on my emotions. Alas, sitting in a machine I felt the tears coming but fought them off working even harder. I didn't give a shit that an old man gazed at me in concern. Me grunting and crying...
To my relief we had a kick as busy day at work. Lots of drama that I'm not allowed to talk about according to my contract... hehe. I only felt like crying 2 times or was it 4. I realized that I now have 2 weeks of vacation and no boyfriend to spend it with. Fuck that, I'm going to do something so fun crazy I can dream about it and long for it all summer without feeling my heart break...
Now that I'm single I realize that I haven't tried to talk to my coworkers for real for as long as I've worked here. Oki everyday chit chat but not really whole hearted, this is kind of strange, but it's like there has only been room for my B in my heart and life. With all the drama and passion going on, there was no room for the rest of my life. So anyway, I realized that I have some really fun gals working here. And I enjoy talking to them, and I find myself almost laughing for real again! I was so surprised that I almost felt embarrassed when I couldn't stop smiling after a nice coffee break.
My evening was more ore less a disaster, to depressing to talk about... today is another day!
